Fri 8 Dec 2017
1:58 PM

After careful consideration, I’m still not convinced Death Stranding is a game at all; it’s just Kojima’s fever dream.

Tue 28 Nov 2017
8:51 AM

Flash fiction: A word from our sponsors

We wern’t surprised, once the aliens arrived, that they’d picked up our television signals. We’d been blasting the stuff into space for ages, after all, like an interplanetary HEY LOOK AT US signal. What did surprise us was - due to the way things worked back home for them - the fact that they’d interpreted commercials as snippets of scripture for the attention-deprived.

We never fail to be intrigued by the colorful laws of the human pantheon. Take for example, the great lord Ore-Ida, who not only dictates when one can safely consume pizza–”

Come again?” sputtered the overwhelmed ambassador.

–but also the manner in which one can use a bagel to escape the sin of an unscheduled pizza!”

Their voices rose in an eerie harmony:

Pizza in the morning /
pizza in the evening /
pizza at suppertime /
When pizza’s on a bagel, /
you can eat pizza anytime.”

Sun 19 Nov 2017
12:18 PM

this particular bridge jump can fuck right off. #Destiny2

warlock jump sucks

Thu 16 Nov 2017
12:46 PM

EA clearly misses 2012-2013, when they were voted worst company in America. Twice. https://t.co/JJfzZIMLFA

Mon 13 Nov 2017
10:17 AM

Extremely pleased to learn this morning that Gundam 00 is getting a Blu-ray release. Still my favorite one (and IMO a better version of most of Gundam Wing’s plot elements).

Sat 11 Nov 2017
7:14 PM

As Legion is wrapping up, I’m kind of surprised we haven’t seen any sign of Mal’Ganis.

squints at Khadgar

Wed 8 Nov 2017
2:36 PM

A few more allied races for World of Warcraft

at last, trolls sans scoliosis

One of the more hyped-up portions of Blizzard’s announcement of World of Warcraft: Battle for Azeroth were the Allied Races - groups of folks we’ve already crossed paths with during World of Warcraft, or ones we’ll see in the future, who can be convinced to join a faction via a quest chain of some kind and then are available for players to play. Most are variants or subraces of existing player races - Highmountain tauren, void elves, Dark Iron dwarves - but why stop there? The history of World of Warcraft is filled with races we didn’t kill befriended, and then left behind or who otherwise never became story-relevant. Now’s a good opportunity to rectify some of that by adding…

Hozen (Horde) and Jinyu (Alliance)

ookin' dookers and watery wikkets

We went to a lot of trouble to make friends when our characters landed in the Jade Forest. The Horde befriended the crude, brew-loving, dook-flinging forest hozen, while the Alliance, erm, allied with the mystical, peaceful, and blubbery-sounding pearlfin jinyu. Characters of both races continued to appear throughout Mists of Pandaria, and then we just… left. Friendships forgotten. Seems like, if we’re looking for allies, it’d be a great time to reach out to friends we already recruited for the last time we had a meaningless faction war, yeah?

Ethereals (both)

racial ability: spellsteal

Both? Why not. The ethereals go where there is profit to be made, and what is more profitable than the machinery of war? Furthermore, the ethereals already have good working relationships with both factions, so they’re easy to get ahold of. Maybe the standard’ ethereals don’t feel like signing on for a standard war effort? Good thing we already have two readymade groups who could easily be aligned with either faction: the Ethereum, who want to avenge the destruction of their homeworld by any means necessary, even turning to the void themselves, and the Protectorate, who strictly oppose the void - and the Ethereum.

Ogres (Horde)

ogres!

Okay, sure, ogres - at least, the Stonemaul and, more recently, the Dunemaul - are already technically part of the Horde. But they’ve never been playable! It’d be nice to have a large, burly race that doesn’t have absurd helmet model deformation issues. Also, you could have the two-headed variety for casters! That could be cool.

Downside: Blizzard would finally have to model a female ogre. Or rather - model more than the center portion of their face. Something they’ve not managed to do in 13 years. How is there not a single female ogre, Blizzard, for heaven’s sake?

Tuskarr (Alliance? Both? idk)

look at his mighty steed!!

Again, same problem, I’m not sure Blizzard has depicted any female tuskarr at all, and this is just a recurring problem, so we’re going to sidestep it. The tuskarr are really cool! They’d also be another race that doesn’t fall into the dichotomy of giant and muscle-y” or willowy and thin”; the tuskarr would be the game’s second chubby race. More than chubby! Furthermore, the whole myth that they can’t survive outside of the arctic climate of Northrend has been busted by Trawler Yotimo - he seems pretty alive.

On top of that, Blizz has already teased us with this once upon a time… on April Fool’s Day in 2010, everyone on the Armory was, briefly, a Tuskarr.

not my warlock.

Arakkoa (High Arakkoa for the Alliance, Arakkoa Outcasts for the Horde)

bird noises

BIRD PEOPLE, BLIZZARD

LET ME BE A DANG BIRD PERSON ALREADY

Thu 19 Oct 2017
5:16 PM

Shout-out to the Lunar: Silver Star Story special edition manual for trying to pass off Ghaleon as a good guy.

Mon 9 Oct 2017
8:50 AM

Dumb #Netrunner combos: did you previously run 3 RDI? Got 3 influence? Find the Truth + Equivocation + Top Hat got your back.

Fri 1 Sep 2017
1:12 PM

Things I’ve backed recently on Kickstarter

FIGHT KNIGHT

if a skelly feelin froggy up in here, we gonna draxx. them. sklounst.

FIGHT KNIGHT! They’re a knight! Who fights! With their fists! I’ve actually been following Thomas on Tumblr for quite a while, so I’ve seen a lot of gifs of FIGHT KNIGHT (you have to write it in all caps like that, it’s just how it is) as it’s been going from inception to something you can actually back and it’s so good looking.

It is also absolutely committed to the punching thing.

kingdomkome21 asked: Dunno if anyone has asked, but will there be any NPCs to interact with? A merchant, perhaps? Any other game mechanics in play or in mind that aren’t so much about picking the bad guy(which is immensely entertaining and is no doubt the main focus of this game)?

absolutely! npc interactions are a big part of the game. of course, the interaction is done in the same way you interact with everything else

with punching, of course


Spire

The City Must Fall

Gonna let this one speak for itself:

You are a dark elf. The touch of the sun burns your grey skin, and you hide from the light in twisting corridors, crumbling temples and the lawless undercity of the metropolis known as Spire. The high elves, rulers of the city, alien and capricious, allow you to live here as an underclass forced to beg for scraps.

Your religion, your culture, and your people are being destroyed all around you. You have seen your fathers, your mothers, your grandparents subjugated by the high elves, and you have had enough. You have joined the resistance: the ministry of Our Hidden Mistress, worshippers of a forbidden goddess.

You have sworn in blood that the high elves will fall, that you will destroy them through subterfuge, and insurrection, and terror.

Spire is a dark fantasy-punk standalone game where you play members of a dark elf resistance against their high elf oppressors in a city that feels like what Broms art looks like: weird and gothic and bloody. The art and descriptions are cool and evocative and different, and the characters are unique from the ground up, whether you’re playing a carrion-priest with a pet hyena, a member of a fallen order of knights who are now mostly swaggering bullies, an archivist who fetters away knowledge and dark elf artifacts in the city’s never-completed reality-warping mass transit system, or literally a living hive of glyph-marked bees.


Cultist Simulator: Behold Our End

creepy.

Unlike the last two, you can still back Cultist Simulator if you want to. It’s from the creator of Fallen London and creative director of Sunless Sea, and describes itself as:

a narrative game that lets you play a seeker after unholy mysteries, in a 1920s-themed setting of hidden gods and secret histories. Perhaps you’re looking for knowledge, or power, or beauty, or revenge. Perhaps you just want the colours beneath the skin of the world.

And apparently I am a total sucker for

Because all of these things are good, or at worst, extremely interesting.

Fri 18 Aug 2017
12:34 AM

While on hold, I discovered I have accidentally bought Akira on Blu-Ray three times. It’s good, but not THAT good.

Thu 3 Aug 2017
11:00 AM

The complete lack of any kind of Netrunner news after the last pack of this cycle (shipping now!) is unnerving. Hoping GenCon delivers.